intentional heartache , melissa

[jacob ray knott.]

&&

JR nodded in agreement with Mel. "Yeah, you're right, we can't ignore that your married. It would probably be in my best interest to pay attention to that." As much as they didn't want her to be, Mel was married. Hopefully, eventually, that would change, and she could be JR's wife. But it was wrong to think that and and get everyone's hopes up, if it would never happen. Right now, they just had to take things one step at a time. One thing that JR did worry about was if him and Mel decided to get together, and that Charlie would try to harm one of them. That was a definate possibility. But JR wasn't going to let anything happen to himself, Ally, or Mel. He knew though ow Charles got when he got mad. Shoot, everyone should know. If something didn't go his way, it was your head on the chopping block.

Ally's comment back in the barn had been bothering JR. He wanted to know if Charlie beat them. If he did, he was a dead man. JR would make sure that Charlie never came near Mel or Ally again. He didn't want to ask Mel, but he really needed to know the answer. JR was going to act rash or anything, he just needed to know what went on in that seemingly perfect house of theirs. But by the way Mel's face had looked earlier when Ally had brought it up, it must be a sensitive subject to them both. "Mel..I really didn't want to ask you this, but Ally's question bothered me. Does Charlie hit you?" The more and more that JR thought about it, the more it made sense. The way Mel felt uncomfortable when he held her, Ally's unusual comments, and Mel's standoffish attitude when the conversation turned to her life at hom with Charlie. It had finally clicked, and it was starting to make sense to JR. and he was pissed.

He let the burgers grill a little longer before he finally took them up. He flopped them back on the plate, and turned the big silver knob on the front of the grill, turning it off. He turned to look at Mel and smiled. "Let's go eat." He walked back through the screen door, and into the kitchen, where he began setting the table, before pulling out a big bowl of fresh potato salad his mom had made for him. He set it on the table, and looked over at Mel again. "Mom was here just last night, with dad and everyone. They had some housewarming party for me or something. And there's a bunch of food left over. What do you want to drink?" JR pulled two big glasses out of the cabinet, and a smaller plastic one for Ally. He set them on the table, and walked up behind Mel and rested his chin on her shoulder while holding her waist, waiting for her answer.

[melissa kimball]

Melissa smiled as he agreed with her, but it came out as more of a grimace. She wished that she wasn't married. But she was, and she couldn't change it. At least for now. She was slightly determined to do it though. Seeing JR, she was filled with a determination. She couldn't put up with Charles anymore. She just couldn't. Hell, it would be heartbreaking enough just to go back home after this. So she wasn't altogether sure that she could. As JR asked if Charles hit her, she closed her eyes and slowly nodded.

"Yes. Yes he does. But he's never laid a finger on Ally, thank God," she replied.

"I would have left long before now. But he's threatened to kill Ally if I leave him," she explained softly. She felt the need to explain to him why she hadn't left. Why she was still trapped in the marriage. She fell silent, not really wanting to discuss the other things that Charles had done to her over the years. She just didn't want to get into it. It was way too gruesome. So, she was relieved when they went inside. But she knew that she'd have to talk about it sometime. It was just that, so much was bottled up inside. So much that she wasn't so sure what to do with. It probably would help to talk about it, but she'd been so careful about hiding it all, afraid that Charles would kill her or Ally if he found out that she'd been talking; that, it was hard to start talking now. It was hard to break habits.

A smile graced her features as he rested his chin on her shoulder and held onto her waist.

"Just water is perfect for me," she responded with a smile. Ally didn't have to be told to wash up for dinner. She seemed a little disappointed that she had to stop playing with the dog though.

"Yummy!" Ally cried enthusiastically. It was amazing how different Ally acted in this house then in their own. She was cheerful enough with Melissa. But as soon as Charles walked in the door, Ally was more quiet.

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[jacob ray knott.]

&&

JR clenched his jaw when Mel said that Charlie hit her. He clenched it even more against her shoulder as she said that Charlie had threatened to kill Ally. "I swear, if he ever lays a hand on you or Ally again, I'll kill him. And you know if it gets too bad, you can always come stay here." JR brushed her hair away from the back of her neck and kissed it, before he walked over to the fridge, and poured Mel a glass of ice water, and him a glass of tea. He grabbed the half gallon of milk, and poured Ally a glass, and then set it on the table in front of her. He took his and Mel's glass and set it on the dinner table as well. He grabbed the bowl of tater salad out of the fridge, and sat it on the table, along with various other things. He sat down and waited for Mel to come to the table. JR thought about what she said earlier, about Ally's baby book. "I'd like to take a look at Ally's baby book, if you don't mind."

He started to fix himself a burger, as he thought abou how the eening had gone so far. JR didn't want it to end. He like having Mel and Ally around. It made this quiet old farmhouse feel and sound alive again, instead of him milling around in it silently. Hopefully, soon, Mel and Ally would live here with him, but JR had no idea how long it would be before that would happen. Right now, he was just trying to focus on enjoying Mel and his daughter's company. "So do y'all have time for a movie, or do you gotta get heading home?" JR looked to Mel for an answer. He already knew what Ally's reaction would be. She had already said that she wanted o live here, and never go back to their house with Charlie.

JR thought about the evening thus far as he chewed his burger, and ate a few crinkle fries. He wished that Charlie and all of their problems could just disappear, so he could marry Mel, and be a real family with Ally. One of the sad things was he didn't know how long it would be until they could see each other again, because of Mel's demanding schedule that Charlie set up for her. For seeming like such a perfect guy, he definately wasn't. Charlie was the exact opposite, and if the whole town knew what went on in his and Mel's house, they would hate him. But no, instead, it was the other way around, and everyone loved him. But hopefully, that would soon change when everyone found out how much of a bastard Charlie really was. JR tried to shake the thoughts out of his head as he continued eating. He looked at his daughter, and smiled. "So Ally, did you have fun riding?" He looked from her to Mel, and smiled gorgeously. He really did love having both of them around, they made his day seem worth while.

[melissa kimball]

She shook her head as he invited her to stay there with him if it got too bad.

"If I ask for a divorce from Charles, he'll put two and two together. He knows you're back in town JR. He'll come after you if I ask for a divorce," she said sadly. She had to get out of the situation though. But she didn't want JR to get hurt either. He could definitely hold his own. But Charles was quite scary.

As he said that he would like to see the baby book, she nodded and smiled. She loved Ally's baby book. It was filled with a lot of pictures of Ally. Ally was only four, but already Melissa had the book quite full. But, Ally had been her whole entire world. She really had had nothing else to live for. So her whole attention had been on trying to make her daughter happy. And now, she had to think about her daughter and JR and get out of the situation she was in with Charles.

She started eating her dinner, just watching JR and Ally. For a second, she felt like someone who had a normal, regular family. A happy marriage. JR then asked if they had time to stay and watch a movie. Charles would probably be pissed if she stayed out too late. So she wondered how best to respond. But then again, she didn't know how she could go back home after a night like this. It would be way too heartbreaking. She wasn't so sure that she should go back. But how could she not? Charles was shrewd. And even if she decided to stay with her mom and demand for a divorce, he would blame JR for it. He would come here. She had to shake that from her thoughts though. She listened as JR asked if Ally had had a good time riding.

"It was fun! I want to go again soon!" Ally responded enthusiastically. Melissa smiled, though her mind was constantly turning. Of course, her and Ally's stuff was at Charles's. But she could take Ally to her mother's, and have somebody get her stuff when Charles was out. Of course, it was just stuff though, so if that plan didn't work she didn't care. But she knew that she had to get out. She couldn't continue to be scared and stay in the situation. Especially not if Ally had seen more then she would like her daughter to see in that situation.

"Ally and I should probably head soon. How would you like to stay at grandpa and grandma's house, Ally?" she asked.

"Okay," Ally said enthusiastically. Melissa smiled, but she felt sick inside. She was putting her parents in danger as well by staying with them. But what else could she do? She had to fight back. She couldn't just sit there and do nothing anymore.

[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jacob ray knott.]

&&

He shook his beautiful head and laughed quietly as Mel said what she said about Charlie coming here. woo freaking hoo. Charlie didn't scare JR one bit, not even in the least amount. "he doesn't scare me Mel, never has. I'm going to protect you and my daughter no matter what." JR glanced at Mel and smiled micheviously as he swallowed a bite of his burger. It's not like he hadn't kicked Charlie's ass before. He had several times before when the guy would try to make a move on his woman - Melissa. And now, after all these years, Charlie would get what he deserved. And he wasn't going to like it.

For a minute, he felt like he had a normal, complete family. For a while, he could pretend like Mel had never ended it, and that they had always been together. But that wasn't the case, and eventually he would have to come crashing back down to earth. He watched Ally giggle and talk with her mom before going back to eating. He finished the potato salad on his plate, and spooned some more out of the bowl and onto his plate. He stopped eating when he heard Mel say something about staying at her parents. "Mel..I don't think that would be the safest choice.." He looked up at her again with those dangerously gorgeous green eyes, and then back down at his plate. He didn't want Ally or Mel to be in anymore danger than they already were, and dragging her parents into it would just make it worse. JR wanted them to stay here, but he knew that might not happen.

One again JR went back to his little pretending world when Ally smiled and said that she wanted to go riding over here again. He smiled and laughed before he spoke. "Well, you can come over and go riding every day if you want, I don't care. Old Boomer needs somebody to ride him, but I'm a little too big." He smiled again after he said his comment. Honestly, he wanted to just forget and forgive Mel for the past four years, and go on like they never happened. It would be so easy to, but yet so hard at the same time. He wanted them to move in with him, and be family, and let Ally go riding every day. And now, maybe, it looked like it might just be possible for that to happen. "When do you wanna go pick up your stuff?" They had to do something about Mel's marriage and her incompetent husband Charlie. It's not like you can exactly arrest the town sherriff. It just wasn't that easy.

[melissa kimball]

Melissa smiled when he assured her that he was going to protect her and Ally, no matter what. It did make her feel a bit better. Though she still felt bad about the whole thing. Because she had brought Charles upon herself, and them if JR became involved again. But how could she walk away from him again? She was just so tempted to bolt from town. Let him follow her and leave JR and her family alone. But there was no way that she could hurt JR like that again. No. She couldn't leave. But neither was she sure that they could pick up and leave off where they'd been before she broke his heart.

But. When he told her that he didn't think that her staying with her parents was the best idea, she bit her lip. She could tell that he wanted her and Ally to stay here. But how could she do that? Because she was a married woman. Of course, she knew that she and JR would act all proper and everything until the divorce was final. But why should they really? She'd been living with a man who had been unfaithful to her. And had beaten her, physically and emotionally. She was aching for a real man's love. JR's love. But, she had this weird thing about marriage. She was a married woman so she couldn't just start living with another man, and all that until the divorce was final. Could she? Really it would probably be the smartest idea. And she and JR wouldn't have to share a room or anything. They could both be given time to get to know each other again. Geez. All of this was confusing.

"Well. I don't know what else to do," she responded. But yes. She certainly didn't want to put her parents in danger. She smiled as she again, just watched JR and Ally interact. At his question though, she wasn't sure how to respond.

"Well, I don't know. I really don't want Charles to be there when I pick up the stuff. But I don't know," she responded. She really wanted to think clearly and and all that, but she was so scared. She wanted everything to go okay. And already, the wheels were turning. She was going to have to meet with an attorney and get everything finalized. She was not going to put up with Charles hurting her anymore.

[jacob ray knott.]

&&

JR smiled weakly as Melissa talked. He still didn't want her staying at her parent's; not jsut because he wanted her and Ally to stay with him, but because he didn't think they would be safe there. And it would put her parents in danger. "Well, it's whatever you wanna do, I don't care either way, but I would like you to stay here." He flashed his dangerous eyes up at her, and then back down at the table as he finished up eating his dinner. He pushed his chair back from the table with his feet, and walked over to the sink. JR set the plate in before turning around and walking back to the table, where he walked up behind Mel and rubbed her shoulders for a minute. He stood there for a second, and then walked back to his side of the table to sit down.

As Mel talked about getting her stuff, JR just nodded. He knew that he probably shouldn't be there when she did, but he didn't want Charlie to even think about laying a hand on her. JR was serious; he would kill him. He already didn't like it that this had been going on for four years, and no one knew about. It was high time somebody did something about it. "Well, its like I said, It's whatever you wanna do. I'll help you out anyway that I can." He smiled at Mel as she continued eating. He saw that Ally was almost finished, and looked at her mother briefly before getting up and pulling french vanilla ice cream out of the freezer in his double door refrigerator. "Hey Ally, you want some ice cream?" he smiled at her, and let out a quiet laugh as the little girl nodded vigorously. He scooped her two medium-sized scoops, and then drizzled chocolate syrup over it. He put a spoon in the bowl, and brought it over to set it in front of Ally.

He smiled as Ally dug into her sundae ferociously. He thought she was so cute, and he was really glad that Ally was his, not scum bag Charlie's kid. JR and Mel had definately done good on making that one, that's for sure. He smirked as the thought had crossed his mind. He just wished that Mel had told him four years ago. JR would have made it work, even if he had to put off college, at least until Mel had had the baby. It had been just as much as JR's responsibility back then as her's. If you play with fire, you wind up getting burned, and that's just what had happened to them four years ago. Not that JR regretted it, he loved Ally with all his heart, she was the cutest thing ever, but it's just that he had hoped it would end up differently. But there was no use of crying over spilled milk, there was nothing he or she could do about it now. They just had to focus on the present, and not worry about the past.

JR shook all of the negative thoughts, and came back down to earth. He smiled beautifully at Melissa, as she finished eating. "Lemme get that plate for you Mel." JR got up slowly, and grabbed the plate from out in front of her. He set it in the sink along with his and Ally's before coming to sit back down at his seat at the table. They had always told him that Mel had him whipped. They had told him that since the 9th grade when they started dating. JR's friends used to always make fun of him for it, calling him various names, but he didn't care. JR had always loved Mel, in both ways, and he would do anything for her. And they love and commitment had not wavered an inch in the past four years either. He didn't know if Mel felt that strongly, but he didn't care. He would love her even if she hated him.

[melissa kimball]

A huge part of Melissa did want to stay here with JR. It was probably right where she would feel the safest. But she wondered what everyone in town would think. They'd probably all think she was leaving Charles for JR. And in a way, she really was. But she was mostly doing it for herself and for Ally. For all three of them really. But then, she really decided that it didn't matter. People could think whatever they wanted to think. Let them all gossip. Just as long as she got out of the situation. Maybe if more people were aware of the situation, then Charles really wouldn't be able to hurt her or Ally. Because maybe, just maybe she could get the town's support behind her. Even though many did like Charles. The fake Charles anyway.

"Okay," she replied. Finally agreeing to stay here with him. It was probably the safest and most logical choice anyway. She did not want to impose on him. But that thought was ridiculous. She wouldn't be imposing. He wanted her and Ally to stay here. She and JR had not seen each other in four years. So it was like they were craving to be in each other's presence for as long as possible. She knew that they could be proper living in the house. But really, that wasn't her biggest concern anyway. It would just be good to get out Charles's house.

She smiled as Ally enthusiastically agreed to some ice cream then dug into it. She really had no idea what she would have done had she not had Ally to take care of. She probably would have given up and died already. But things were definitely looking up. It was all so very unreal for her. To be back with JR, and to actually be attempting to leave her husband. She'd thought about leaving him so many times over the years. But she'd never gone through with it. Fear had kept her from doing anything. But now, just the thought of Ally having to see anymore of it, and of her having to put up with it, she wouldn't be able to do it. Seeing JR again had been really good. And after seeing him and knowing that he was still as much in love with her as she was in love with him, how could she possibly go back?

"We're staying here mommy?" Ally asked excitingly once she'd finished up with her ice cream. Melissa looked up and smiled at JR for a second before responding.

"Yes hun. We're staying here," she responded with a nod. Just the thought of it was making her feel better. She knew that Charles was cunning and all of that, but it would be okay. And already, she was going over in her mind what exactly she'd have to do. She was going to have to make an appointment with a lawyer in order to start the divorce and set that in motion. But she supposed that she could worry about that tomorrow.

"I guess I don't have to go back to Charles's place and get my stuff. It's just stuff. I think that my my stepmother has things back at the house for me that I can have," she said softly with a slight shrug. It was after all, just stuff. All of it replaceable. Of course she did want the stuff that mattered to her, but most of that was in the attic at her parents house. She'd always figured it would be safer there. Her husband wouldn't be able to get to all of it there. So, all of her pictures of her and JR were in the attic at her parent's house. And everything about him really.

"Are you sure that Ally and I aren't imposing?" she asked.

[jacob ray knott.]

&&

JR sighed in relief when Mel said that her and Ally would be staying here. He was glad, not just because they were his family, but because he knew that he could keep them safe here. He already had two extra bedrooms, there was plenty of room for Mel and Ally. As much as he didn't want to, JR knew he had to act proper until Mel and Charlie were legally seperated. It would be hard, but JR had enough self-control. Or so he thought. "Well, that makes me feel a lot better. I have two extra rooms, you guys can share, or have seperate rooms, it's up to y'all." If JR was estatic, which he was, he didn't show it. He acted calm and cool, just like he always did.

He watched as Ally gulped down the last of her ice cream. He waited until she was finished, and then picked up the bowl, and put it in the sink with the dirty dishes, and he proceeded to clean off the table. When he finished he came back to lean against the counter, he walked over to Ally, and picked her up. He smiled at her before speaking. "What do you want to do now Miss Ally? you can play with the dog, watch TV, play playstation, anything you want." JR swung her around and played with her a for a bit before setting her down, and letting her to run off to do whatever it was that she did. JR looked at Mel and smiled, before leaning back up against the counter. "You know Mel, if you relaly want your stuff, you can go get it from there, unless it's not that important. What about Ally's toys and whatnot? Not that we can't replace those, but still." He looked at Mel intently and waited for her answer.

JR proceeded to go to the fridge, and grab him a coke. Normally, he would have grabbed a beer, but he didn't want to drink in front of Ally. He didn't think it was right to do that, and he wasn't sure if Charlie did or not, but his guess was that he did. JR popped the top on it, and walked back to where he had been standing previously. "Lemme give you a tour of the house, come on." JR reached out for Mel's hand, and laced his fingers with hers. He walked through the formal dining and living room, and then up the stairs to the small landing that contained three doors. He opened one, and walked in. "This is my room." Jr laughed at his manly decorating skills. or lack of them. After a minute, JR walked back out, and into the next room. He led Mel into the room, and flipped the light on. "This is your room." This room had been decorated a little better, with a rustic cowboy theme. No doubt this decor was the product of JR's mom and sister. Himm buying this house gave them an excuse to buy random, expensive stuff t decorate his house, which had already been perfectly fine before. But there were some things JR would never understand, and two of those were women and decorating skills.

[melissa kimball]

Melissa nodded when he said that he had two extra bedrooms. All of this was happening so fast. She still wondered why and how it was so easy for JR to forgive her when she clearly even couldn't forgive herself. And now, he was letting them stay here. She wondered really what the future would have in store for them. But she certainly couldn't walk away a second time. No matter how scared she was. She just had to keep holding on. And this time around, she really did feel safer. They could do it as long as she stayed here with JR.

She smiled and got up as Ally ran off to play. And she knew that Ally would be safe in this house. She didn't have to worry about an abusive guy or any of that. Ally could enjoy herself more freely, and she herself could too.

"It's just stuff," she said with a shrug. She knew that she'd have to face Charles sometime, but she didn't want to do so for awhile.

They want upstairs as he showed her around the house. She smiled as he showed her his room, and then took her to the room that she would be staying in. She nodded appreciatively.

"It's beautiful JR," she commented as she looked around. She bit her lip a bit. She was still so overwhelmed, and she didn't know quite what to make of it all. If somebody would have told her yesterday that all of this would be happening, she'd have called them crazy.

She wanted to ask JR about the last four years. About college. She'd asked of course, but he hadn't given her all that much information. Maybe the last four years without her were a sore spot for him. Just like the last four years without him, weren't much to talk about. He'd been her whole world, and she'd shattered that world. It probably would take awhile to put everything back together again, if they even could. And she still felt a little scared and overwhelmed. She'd been living the last four years with an abusive man. And now, she was back in the presence of a man who would never hurt her.

"So, you didn't meet anyone up at college?" she asked. She asked it in a light tone. But she really couldn't believe that he hadn't. That he was unattached. She'd expected him to be attached. She was glad that he wasn't, but still.

[jacob ray knott.]

&&

JR looked at her and smiled when she said that it was all beautiful. He glanced down at the floor and blushed, before looking back up. JR didn't realize how beautiful this pace was, even though he was the one who had put in all of the work to restore this old house. JR was glad that he had found someone to enjoy its beauty with him. He did feel like that he hadn't totally cheated Mel out of what she wanted for him. He had accomplished getting this place, doing well at rodeoing, and accomplishing all of his other dreams. But there was one thing he hadn't done yet. "Thanks Mel, this place means a lot to me." JR was right; this place did mean a lot to him. It was the outcome of all the hard work he had endured in the past few years.

He kind of choked when Mel asked if there had anyone been the time she had broke up with him, and now. To be honest, there had been a few. Not that they had been serious, because they hadn't. All of them had just been buckle bunnies that had followed JR and his rodeo buddies around from rodeo to rodeo. But JR wasn't going to tell Mel about them. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Well, I went on a few dates, but they just didn't feel right. I was in love with the idea of finding someone, not with those people." That wasn't neccessarily lying, but it wasn't telling the whole truth either. JR was only telling Mel what she needed to know. Not that it was a huge secret anyway, he just didn't wan to talk abou that time of his life. It had been hard enough to go through it once, and he sure didn't want to tell anyone about it.

JR stood looking around at his house for a minute. He loved living here, and wouldn't trade it for the world. He had worked so hard to be able to call this place home, and now he could share it with Mel and Ally. He looked around for a moment more, before turning to Mel to speak again. "So what do you wanna get into tonight, since you don't have to go anywhere?" he smiled at her sweetly, and kissed her on the cheek. He walked out of the room behind her, and down the stairs to the living room. JR hung his cowboy hat on the hat rack, before going to sit down on the couch, close to where Ally had been playing with Fred, JR's basset hound.