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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 24, 2008 1:00:45 GMT -5
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 24, 2008 1:27:04 GMT -5
 &&It really felt good holdin her in his arms, but JR knew he would have to let go eventually. As he set her down in the chair, he looked at her. She was a complete and total wreck, and he had no idea what it was over. She obiviously wouldn't tell him what was going on, even though he could see right through her. JR wished there was something that he could do about it. But until Mel told him what the deal was, then that couldn't happen. It didn't used to be like this; it used to be that Melissa could tell JR anything, and vise versa. But time had changed her apparantly, and he started to wonder if she still loved him as much as he still loved her. And it was breaking his heart to see her like this.
When Mel said that her and Ally should leave, JR abruptly got up out of his chair, and stood in front of the door. "Mel, get real. I'm not dumb, I know something's going on. You don't just start bawling like that unless something's wrong. I may have not seen you in four years, but I know that much about you." JR didn't know what to say. He loved her so so much, and he didn't want to see her this way. JR knew that it must've been something he had said, because she hadn't started crying until he said that he missed her. "You used to be able to tell me anything, why can't you still? I'm not gonna be mad, and neither will Charlie, because I'll kick his ass if he is." Maybe it was the fact that he missed her? Hell, he didn't know anymore. All JR knew was that he wanted Melissa back in his arms for good.
As he waited for Mel to tell him what was going on, he looked out the glass window at Ally riding. She looked so happy out there on Boomer, oblivious to the turmoil that was occuring up here, in this small room. JR wished that he could be happy-go-;ucky like that again, but lately, life had just been plain shitty. He hadn't realized it until Melissa had came over, but her visit had opened his eyes to a lot of things. Like how he lover her so much, how life was crappy without her, and just everything. He had to figure out a way to fix it all, and make it go right. But JR didn't even know where to start on that endeavor.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 24, 2008 11:30:54 GMT -5
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 25, 2008 15:17:05 GMT -5
&& JR stood there shaking is head. He couldn't believe that Melissa, best friend and love of his life, was sitting there lying to him like that. JR scoffed when he heard her say to leave Charles out of this. "Well, if you like him, you must've changed. I don't know if you're because of money or whatever, and I know I don't have a lot of that. But I'm sure I love you a lot more than he does." He didn't know why Mel was being like this. Maybe she really had changed that much. But no matter what she was like, or what she did, JR would always love her. And that was a good thing and a bad thing. He knew he would never be able to move on. JR would rather be alone than not have Melissa.
He listened to Melissa speak about how she had still loved him when she left him, and how had had come to hang out with him to give him closure. JR wondered why Mel had left she had still loved him, but that didn't make any sense. If you loved someone that much, and nothing else restricted you being with them, then why wouldn't you? "That doesn't make any sense Mel. If you loved me, then why did you leave me? Think I deserve that much." Suddenly, something came to JR's mind. What if she had cheated on him with Charlie, and gotten pregnant with Ally? If made sense, because Ally was four, and it had been the same amount of time since him and Melissa had broken up. "Did you cheat on me with Charlie or something, and get pregnant? Because that was an awful fast engagement. It had only been two months after you broke up with me when you got married." It all made sense to JR, if that was the truth. And Mel wouldn't lie to him about it, right?
JR could see that Melissa was still holding back something from him. It bothered him that she couldn't tell him anything anymore. But, he couldn't expect her to just come running back to him, and act like things had never changed. And they had, in a big way. JR shouldn't expect for her to love him anymore, let alone talk to him. He had tried to forget about Mel, but it had never worked. He loved her, and JR wished that she would see that, and take him back. But it just wasn't that simple obiviously. And he was beginning to think that Melissa didn't want him back as bad as he wanted her back. JR had waited and waited for her, but he had missed his train. She had moved on. After looking out the window some more, he turned back to look at Mel. "Do you know how much I loved you, still love you? I was going to propose to you. When I came over the night you broke up with me, I had the ring and everything." It was true. JR had really had the ring with him, and he was planning on proposing that night. But instead of getting a simple yes, all he had gotten was screaming, shouting, and random inanimate objects chucked at his head.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 25, 2008 17:43:45 GMT -5
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 26, 2008 0:19:43 GMT -5
&& JR felt a lump growing in his thorat as she talked. It was a mixture of him being mad, angry and sad at Mel all at the same time. Why couldn't she see that they were the right match, not her and Charlie? The last thing he would do was cry in front of Mel. That would just make her start bawling again, and he couldn't take that. He really wished that she would tell him what was going on. He really wasn't going to get mad at her or anything, not matter how bad. JR love Mel, and that would never change no matter what. He winced after what he said about money. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. that.. it.. it came out wrong. I know you're not like that." JR reallyhadn't. He had never been good with words. Maybe that was why he had gotten into this mess in the first place.
He started to get concerned when she started to shake. When the tears started to pour down her face again was when JR really started to worry. "Did coming to see me upset you that bad? I'm sorry if I said anything or did anything to you. But it would help all partie involved if you let me know what was going on with you." If she was crying that much about whatever she was holding back, it had to be something big. JR hoped she wasn't upset because had came to see him. He enjoyed her being here with him. It made it seem like his life had turned out the way it should have, even if it was for just five minutes. And her daughter, gosh, she was the cutest thing ever, and no doubt would grow up to be just like her momma. But this wasn't about Ally, it was about why Melissa's last name was Kimball and not Knott.
JR wanted to hug Mel, and hold her in his arms, and make all her problems go away. But he knew that she would jsut push him away if he tried to. And that was the last thing that JR wanted. He thought quietly for a minute, before an absurd idea came into his head. It probably wasn't true, but he knew he should ask anyway. "She's...Ally's...not mine, is she? Because we did..you know..that one night..." Not that he could get that lucky, but hey, it would be worth the effort to ask. It made JR feel different knowing that he could be a father, and not even known it. And if it was the truth, he wouldn't hold it against Mel. He knew that had probably had her reasons for what she had done. Not that JR wouldn't be a little upset over the fact that she had left him, instead of them being able to be a family with their daughter, but whatever. There's no use in crying over spilled milk.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 26, 2008 0:47:33 GMT -5
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 26, 2008 1:57:00 GMT -5
&& JR couldn't stand it anymore. He reached up slowly, and wiped away Mel's tears with his thumb. The one thing that had always got to him was seeing her cry. And under the circumstances, the effects on him were even worse. JR didn't know what to do or say to make Melissa feel better about the situation. It was obvious things would never go the way they both wanted it too, because of one man, and that damned ring on her left hand. And there was nothing JR could do to change that. He shook his head when she said it was all her fault. "No, it's not. Back then, I said some things that I didn't mean. We both got mad at each other, met mostly because you threw a cowboy boot at my head, but we nevere apologized, so no I am. I'm sorry for everything. All the pain you've gone through..just everything."
He felt the lump grow in his throat even more, and his hadsn started to sweat. JR couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth "Oh my god. I have a daughter." Ally was actually his daughter. Oh my god was all that JR could manage to get out. He smiled faintly, for the first time since he had been with Mel. He hugged her abruptly, and looked out the window at Allison. Now he saw it, he understood why Mel had done what she did. But JR still wished that she had told him that he had gotten her pregnant. He still would have gone to college, and taken care of her and Ally. It would have been hard, but JR would have gotten through it. He wouldn't have done it just because it was right, JR would have taken care of Mel and Ally because he wanted to. If Ally was his daughter, then he wanted to be there for her, and have that father-daughter relationship that they should have.
JR was having a hard time grasping the fact that he was someone's dad. He was so excited about it too. He didn't care that he hadn't been there when Ally was born, her first steps, or her birthdays. None of that mattered. What mattered was that he was there now. His smile started to fade a little when Mel began to talk seriously again. "No, Mel, I wouldn't have done the right thing because it was the right thing to do. I would have done it because I wanted to. I could have gone to school and still taken care of you and her. It would have been hard, but we woul've made it work." Even though they were supposed to be having a serious talk, JR was having trouble concentrating. He was somebody's dad. He was a little younger than he thought he would be when he had a kid, but still, that didn't matter either.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 26, 2008 2:33:42 GMT -5
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 26, 2008 15:37:28 GMT -5
&& JR grinned from ear to ear. He was Ally's father. You think that he would be mad at Mel from holding that information from him, but JR wasn't in the least. He was excited that he was her dad, but he knew he couldn't act like it too much. It was only him and Mel that knew who Ally's dad really was. Until Mel and Charles weren't together anymore, nobody else could ever know that Allison was JR's daughter. He laughed a little when Mel said that they should go get her off the horse. "Yeah, your probably right. She's gonna want to come over here all the time now." He smiled and hugged her again, before walking out the door, and down the steps. JR continued on into the arena, and made his way into the round pen.
As Ally and Boomer made their way toward him, JR slowly grabbed the reins right under his chin. "I think that's enough for today, you don't wanna tire Boomer out too much. You can come over another day and ride him some more." He led them out of the round pen, and over to Mel. Ally was talking anxoiusly to her mother, asking if they had seen her riding. JR just grinned at Melissa again as he led Ally and the horse to the barn. He couldn't believe what she had told him. He understood why she had done what she had done, but JR still wished that Mel would've done the exact opposite. It could have been so different. This ranch could be their ranch, just not his. But whatever, him and Mel were going to work it out, and maybe someday they could be together again.
JR was thinking about what he should do as he tied the little bay horse up in the cross ties. He lifted Ally out of the saddle, and set her on the ground, as he stripped the tack of the horse, and took it back to the tack room. He came back, and handed a brush to Ally. "Can you brush Boomer off with me?" JR wanted Ally to know that he wasn't going to do all of the work for her. He believed that it was important for kids to learn to take care of their horses themselves. Ally was too young to do everything by herself, but she was old enough to at least be involved in the process. When hey finished taking care of Boomer, JR led him back behind the barn, and turned him out in the big 50 acre horse pasture. He watched silently as the horse galloped off, and then rolled in the dirt when he reached the top of the hill. JR turned back to Ally and Mel. "Are y'all hungry for anything?"
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 27, 2008 0:51:55 GMT -5
 Melissa was relieved that he wasn't mad. She'd spent over four years of her life, living in terror of a man who got angry over nothing. God. It was going to be so hard to go home to Charles tonight. Much harder then usual because being in JR's presence was so much better. And maybe being home, she would become all the more aware of the fact that she was probably stuck in the marriage. Stuck in the marriage because she was freaked out that he'd do something to JR if she tried to get out of it. But it wouldn't be fair to JR to go back to Charles and have that be that. Especially not now that he knew that Ally was his daughter. So, things had to change.
She followed JR back down and smiled as he let Ally help him. She loved to brush the horses anyway. Ally was grinning from ear to ear, and it was great to see that. Melissa loved that Ally could smile like this. Actually, it was easier for Mel to smile too. Of course, going back home to Charles was in the back of her mind. But she still had at least a couple more hours with JR. A couple of precious hours, and she wasn't going to waste them.
"I'm hungry!" Ally responded as JR asked if they were hungry. Melissa laughed and nodded her head in agreement.
"Mommy, can we stay here forever?" Ally asked. The question shocked Melissa and she had no idea how to respond.
"We have a home to go to Ally," she responded bending down to her daughter's level.
"I don't want to get home. Charlie gets so mad at you, and it scares me." Ally responded. Melissa's face instantly went white. Ally was of course, an extremely bright girl. But Melissa had tried to hide the fact that Charles beat her, even from Ally. She wondered really how much Ally had seen, and how much Ally knew. And it had surprised Melissa that Ally had not called Charles dad. But then again, she was glad too. After what Ally said to Melissa, she didn't dare look at JR. She just took Ally's hand in her own, trying to change the subject.
"Come on Ally," she said getting up, still not looking at JR. She just couldn't bring herself to do it.
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 27, 2008 1:53:59 GMT -5
&& JR laughed when Ally audaciously claimed that she was hungry. He looked at Mel, and laughed even harder at her expression. "Well let's get you up to the house, and get you something to eat. How do some cheeseburgers sound?" JR looked at Ally for a reply, but she was busy talking to her mother. What she said next shocked him. He didn't know what to think was worse; Ally not calling Charlie dad, which was good in a way, or that she had just said that Charlie was mean to Mel. JR swore on his life that if he ever found out Charlie had been beating Mel or Ally, he would kill him, or at least come close to it. He really didn't give a damn if he went to jail over it either. Nobody messed with either of JR's girls. He wished that Mel would look at him, he felt like she was hiding something from him again. But until he had proof or she said something, JR was just going to take it with a grain of salt. He had already had her in hysterics once today, and that was about all he could take.
As all three of them mosied out of the arena, JR walked up beside Mel, and quietly found her hand with his. He laced his fingers in with hers as they walked toward the house, which wasn't too far away from the barn. Shivers ran up and down his spine as he held her hand. God, it felt so good to be like this with Mel again, to just be this close to her. Now, JR felt like that missing piece of his life was back in place again. But now, it was only a question of if they could keep it that way. Slowly, JR brought the back of Mel's hand up to meet this lips, before kissing it lightly. He let it fall back down to his side as they reached the mud room door, before letting go of her hand to open the door. JR always being a gentleman let Mel and Ally walk in first. He walked in after them, and sat down in a chair to take his boots off. He took the muddy boots off one at a time, and set them on the boot rack over in the corner, before leaning down, and helping Ally pull off her tennis shoes. He set them next to his, as he got up, and walked into the living room, which was just off of the kitchen.
JR walked in the living room to see his dog, Fred, sitting in his easy chair over in the corner. He walked over, and pushed the sleeping dog out of the recliner. "Get down you mutt." JR said roughly to the dog, but showing affection as he smiled while he said so. He walked into the kitchen, and opened up the fridge to see what was in it. "Okay Mel, I know you seriously doubt my cooking skills, but I assure you that they have gotten better since last time I tried to cook for you." JR looked over at her, and smiled gorgeously, showing off his white teeth. He grabbed the package of hamburger patties out of the fridge, and set them on the counter. JR knew that the hamburgers would be good; he had raised the cattle they had came from himself. As he unwrapped the package, he pulled out five hamburgers, and flopped them on the plate to take them outside on the back porch to grill. He motioned for Mel to come with him. Ally was okay, entertaining herself by playing with Fred. JR put his arm around Mel's waist as they walked out the back screen door. He let go of her for a second to put the burgers on the grill, and then went back to holding her.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 27, 2008 2:15:41 GMT -5
Mel breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't respond to Ally's words. JR had always been protective of Mel. And if he found out the full extent of what Charles had done to her over the years, it wouldn't be very pretty. She wasn't so sure she did want to let him know the full extent. She had problems talking about it anyway. It was hard to even think about. Of course, JR probably deserved to know. But, she supposed she'd think about that later.
She couldn't help but smile though as JR reached out and took her hand. She gently squeezed his hand, and just enjoyed the sensation of holding his hand again. She'd really, really missed this. Really it had been all the little things that she'd been missing over the years. She could almost forget all about Charles. And it was like she had totally forgotten that she was a married woman. For now, it was just her, JR, and Ally. And nothing else really mattered at the moment. Shivers went down her spine as he kissed her hand. She took off her shoes after the other two did and followed them into the house.
A laugh escaped her lips at JR's words.
"Well, I would hope you can cook better now," she said teasingly. Ally's attention was on JR's dog, and Mel knew that it would likely be that way for awhile. So, when JR motioned for her to follow him, she had no problems doing so. And the shivers went down her spine again, as he put his arm around her waist. After putting the hamburgers on the grill to cook, he put it there once more.
She closed her eyes briefly. Wishing that she wasn't married to Charles. Really, she kind of felt like she was committing adultery or something. But she'd never loved Charles. And, Charles beat her. So why shouldn't she enjoy herself with JR? Still, she knew that she should probably get a divorce first before allowing this much contact with JR. It was just that, they hadn't seen each other in over four years. And she wasn't so sure that a divorce could happen. First of all, she was so freaked out that Charles would try to kill JR and her daughter, and her parents. And second of all, he would be really fake and try to win the sympathy of the town. He'd fight the divorce the whole way.
But what else could she do? Surely now JR would be expecting her to divorce Charles or something. I mean, she knew that he wanted to be with her. And the only way that could happen was if she got a divorce. The thought of being free from Charles made her so happy. But she didn't dare hope yet that it could happen. She wasn't really saying anything. She was still a little overwhelmed just being here with JR.
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Post by jacob ray knott. on Dec 27, 2008 3:05:05 GMT -5
&& JR looked over at Mel as he walked over to the bench on the porch, and sat down. He suddenly realized he was probably moving too fast for her. Mel had a weird look on her face, and if you did something to make her uncomfortable, she wasn't usually one to say so. He loosened his grasp on her waist, and looked into her gorgeous eyes. "I'm not moving too fast am I?" JR had gotten carried away with himself. He knew that he should keep his hands to himself, Mel was a married woman for crying out loud. But JR just couldn't help it. He hadn't seen her in four years, and she just looked so hot. But that really was no excuse to be loving on Mel like he was. But oh well. She obviously didn't have a problem with it, because she probably would have pushed him away by now.
After sitting there like that with Mel for a while, JR got up to flip the burgers that were searing on the grill. He pushed the flipper under each patty, and flipped it over to the other side, before shutting back the grill lid. He came back to sit down next to Mel. "So, you never told me what you've been doing for the past four years?" JR looked at her intently as he asked the wuestion. They had talked about him and his place a lot, but never about her. That also raised his suspicions about what went on between Mel and Charlie. And it alarmed him what Ally had said earlier. It was bad enough that if that happened to Mel, but it was worser that Ally could possibly see that go on. And Ally really didn't need to see that happen. JR didn't want his daughter to grow up around that kind of violence, especailly when it involved Charlie Kimball. JR knew that he was not a nice guy. He used to bet his girlfriends back in high school, and if that was what he was doing to Mel now, JR would be livid.
He wanted this night to last forever. This was he happiest JR had been in a long time. He had his girl back with him, his daughter was inside playing with the dog, and for this little moment, JR was enjoying life. The only drawback was that Melissa was a married woman. And that set some limitations that JR definately wasn't fond of. Like no kissing, and.....other stuff. But whatever, they could do that stuff later. Now, JR was happy that he could just be near Mel. He never ever thought in a thousand years that they would be this close to getting back together again. Or did he think that they would have a daughter together either. He looked in the window at Ally laughing and playing with the dog. "I did pretty good making that didn't I?" JR nodded in Ally's direction, and laughed. He was proud of Ally, and he had only known he was her dad for an hour. But that didn't matter, JR was just glad that he knew now who ally's father really was.
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Post by melissa kimball on Dec 27, 2008 12:34:53 GMT -5
She was a little disappointed when he took his hand away. But it was probably a good thing. She sat down beside him. At his question, she looked at him and thought about it for a moment. A huge part of her didn't think that he was moving too fast because it just felt so good to be touched by a man who actually loved and cared about her. But on the other hand, she was married. And they probably shouldn't ignore that fact. Even if she didn't love Charles at all.
"Well, it does feel really good to be in your presence again, and all that. But I can't ignore the fact that I am married now. As much as I'd like to at the moment," she responded softly. She was surprised at how open she was being. But then again, not really. She and JR had always been able to talk about really anything. She was glad that that hadn't really gone away. Even after she'd hidden the fact that she was pregnant with his child. At least she was being honest now. Better late then never. It still made her sad to think about though.
At his next question, she exhaled a bit. How could she tell him that the past four years had been a living nightmare? How could she tell him that all she'd really been doing was trying to keep everything in her life perfect. Because if everything wasn't perfect, she'd get beaten for it? How could she ever tell him any of that? But it was really all she'd been doing. That was all she really had time for. Keeping that huge house of Charles's perfect, and everything else. By the end of each day, she was usually exhausted.
"Oh you know, been busy taking care of Ally. That's pretty much it," she finally settled on. She was still concerned about what Ally had said. Never once had Ally mentioned anything like that. So she'd been hoping that her daughter had missed the fact that Charles beat her. It made her feel so sick to her stomach. And suddenly, she was quite certain that she had to get out of the situation. Not just for herself and for her daughter, but JR was back in the picture as well.
"Yes, you did," she replied with a smile, looking back in at Ally. She'd taken comfort in the fact that Ally was JR's daughter and not Charles's. There had been other pregnancies over the years, but she'd miscarried all of them. Mostly because of Charles. But that was just another something that she didn't ever like to think about. She wanted to be happy. And just forget about everything else while she was with JR.
"I have Ally's baby book that I can bring by sometime. Let you see all of the pictures of her up until this point. I know it can't make up for the fact that you missed all of her birthdays and stuff because of me, but I do have the pictures of her birthdays and all that," she commented.
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